Last night, I was pondering my life, and where I was three years ago. I remembered an anxiety within me, a drive, something, some fire, some voice that told me that there was more out there. Change was coming. I could feel it in the very air I breathed. Minnesota was not where I needed to be in the long term. As great as my previous employer was and all the good I learned from them, my feet, my heart, everything within me was itching for something new.
I knew then, that there was something better, something more, something that God needed me to do. I recalled my earnest prayers with my wife at that time, asking to be ready for whatever came. The answer always seemed to be the same - wait, and be patient. Heather and I knew then, as much as we do now, that when God acts in our lives, it is with sudden haste and clarity.
Within a year, Heather's mom was diagnosed with cancer, and right then, at that moment, that very second, I knew that Washington was where I needed to be. But how to get there? I had a significant financial obligation to my employer in regards to my scholarship that I received from them, and if I gave my two weeks, or month notice, or whatever, I would have had to pay them back which my wife and I were not ready for.
A few months, later, my department was cut in half, and I my positioned was cancelled, the scholarship debt forgiven, and an open road to figure out how to get back to Washington. Through some miracle, we were able to get an apartment for an affordable rate, able to find work, and live closer to family.
As many of you know, last year, my Mother-in-Law passed away from that damned disease, and thanks be to God that we were as close to family as we were, to support each other through the next months and year.
Now that the storm has calmed, the anxiety within me has lessened, and I am left wondering to myself - "What next? How do I pick up the pieces and move on? What am I doing here? How can I ensure the best for my family?"
God brought us here, and here is where we plant our proverbial grain and lay down roots. We learn in Genesis that mankind is to eat bread by the sweat of our brow. The frantic energy of searching for God's will has changed, or is changing, into a focus to prepare for tomorrow and the years ahead, to build, to create, to strive for something greater and never settle for what is easy.
There will always be an emptiness from those that leave us suddenly, but we must move on. We must pick ourselves up, as broken as we are, and surround ourselves with those we love, and love them with all our heart. We must do all we can to care for those that are still with us, and prepare ourselves for whatever the future may bring.
I knew then, that there was something better, something more, something that God needed me to do. I recalled my earnest prayers with my wife at that time, asking to be ready for whatever came. The answer always seemed to be the same - wait, and be patient. Heather and I knew then, as much as we do now, that when God acts in our lives, it is with sudden haste and clarity.
Within a year, Heather's mom was diagnosed with cancer, and right then, at that moment, that very second, I knew that Washington was where I needed to be. But how to get there? I had a significant financial obligation to my employer in regards to my scholarship that I received from them, and if I gave my two weeks, or month notice, or whatever, I would have had to pay them back which my wife and I were not ready for.
A few months, later, my department was cut in half, and I my positioned was cancelled, the scholarship debt forgiven, and an open road to figure out how to get back to Washington. Through some miracle, we were able to get an apartment for an affordable rate, able to find work, and live closer to family.
As many of you know, last year, my Mother-in-Law passed away from that damned disease, and thanks be to God that we were as close to family as we were, to support each other through the next months and year.
Now that the storm has calmed, the anxiety within me has lessened, and I am left wondering to myself - "What next? How do I pick up the pieces and move on? What am I doing here? How can I ensure the best for my family?"
God brought us here, and here is where we plant our proverbial grain and lay down roots. We learn in Genesis that mankind is to eat bread by the sweat of our brow. The frantic energy of searching for God's will has changed, or is changing, into a focus to prepare for tomorrow and the years ahead, to build, to create, to strive for something greater and never settle for what is easy.
There will always be an emptiness from those that leave us suddenly, but we must move on. We must pick ourselves up, as broken as we are, and surround ourselves with those we love, and love them with all our heart. We must do all we can to care for those that are still with us, and prepare ourselves for whatever the future may bring.
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